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The beginning of October marked a year since I left my last full-time job and decided to do me. I booked a Contiki and set off for a solo adventure into the great unknown that was Europe.
The great thing about booking a tour is that although you're solo, you are never really alone, no matter what you want to do there is always someone else willing to do the same.
I set off on my first adventure, 25 days of city hopping, drinking, early mornings followed by late nights and a seemingly endless cough. I loved almost every moment of it, we covered 11 countries in 25 days and I reached expert level of ‘bus naps’. I’ll spare you the details of the bed bug infestations, incredibly hungover bus rides and falling out with one of the other people on the tour. It was an incredible way to get a snapshot of Europe and the places I wanted to go back to and explore more in depth.
Easing my way into solo travel was a great start, it gave me the confidence to reach out and explore, pushing my comfort zone a little more with each country I visited.
Pictured above: Amazing times spent with new friends made on Contiki in November 2017. I was never lonely with this crew! Backdrop is Winter Wonderland in London
My second trip began with company for the first couple of months, that came to an end and so I resumed solo travel. This time with a broken heart to mend and a drive to prove to myself I could do it.
So, I set about it, investing in me again and I booked the trip. I explored Budapest, Bratislava, Croatia, Iceland, Scotland and Italy – sometimes with company, sometimes alone, I can’t confess to being a solo travel expert but having done it a few times am starting to get an idea. Every step I took built up more resilience in myself. Here are some of the things I have learnt so far through my own meandering experiences:
1. Take time to smell the roses
It is easy to get caught up with ‘destination gram’, who doesn’t love a good photo for their insta feed!? But I have come to realise that it is taking some time to stop and actually enjoy the moment that is most important. It can be something as banal as looking at the architecture of the rooftops or literally smelling the roses. Whatever it is, take time to relax and remind yourself to remember the moment.
2. You are never really alone (unless you want to be)
The concept of solo travel is a daunting one to those who haven’t yet crossed the bridge. We are faced with fears of ‘what if I get lost?’ ‘what happens when there’s no one to talk to?’ ‘will I look weird eating out alone?’ etc (see my blog ‘I remember my first time’). These fears are something we all face, especially if you’re like me and a bit of an extrovert who is terrified of her own company. The truth is that when you travel, unless you seek solitude you are never truly alone; there will always be someone wanting to do the same activities or keen to go out and grab a drink. Staying in social hostels makes meeting these people easier but be forewarned: you must be friendly and talk to these people (so introverts… step outside your comfort zone). In saying all of this, sometimes purposeful solitude is a blessing, with no one else to worry about and everything in your own timeframe.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others
If you look for someone who is doing it better than you, that’s exactly what you will find. Everyone is on their own journey, for their own reasons. Don’t look at how much ‘better’ at travel, or more ‘adventurous’ someone is than you, the most important thing is that you do you. Experiences are all subjective.
4. Planning is over-rated
Some of the best days of my life so far have been spur of the moment decisions. When travelling, I like to have a vague idea of where I will be and approximate dates, I also have a list of ‘must sees’, but beyond that I often figure out the details a couple of days before hand. Flexibility means you are always open to amazing opportunities that might pop up along the way. It has made me stress less and be much more adaptable. Days like the one I spent boating around the islands near Hvar, or seeing Capri have all been last minute decisions and have made up many of the most memorable days of my travels so far.
5. Start saying yes!
And so, my aforementioned point of not planning too much leads rather nicely to this one: be a YES man/woman/dog or whatever you identify as. Push your comfort zone and say yes to opportunities that arise. You won’t regret it! If you question the reason behind saying ‘no’ to an opportunity, the answer is often due to fear. Conquering your fears allows you to develop not only your confidence, but also your entire being and therefore happiness.
6. Don’t go chasing waterfalls
A solo afternoon at Krka National Park in Croatia, spent chasing the good kind of waterfalls.
I love a good waterfall, you know, the real ones with the water falling down (DO chase them). I mean this statement in an entirely metaphorical sense, much like the song Waterfalls by TLC (woo throwback!). I’ve learnt that if you go about trying to see things in a negative light, that’s exactly how the world will appear. When travelling, it is very easy to become slowly underwhelmed by the beauty of the world due to over stimulation. You can get to a point where, like a drug, each hit needs to be bigger and better than the last. This is where it is important to refer to point 1: Take time to smell to smell the roses.
7. Learn to laugh it off
A lot of things in life don’t go to plan. It’s how we deal with the situation when things go ‘balls up’ that counts. Learning to just take a deep breath and laugh it off truly helps. From missing a train to losing your wallet and the funnier ones like falling over, learning to just keep calm and carry on is important. When travelling solo, you must deal with these things on your own. No one is there to console you, wipe away the tears and help you through, so it can really test your strength and resilience. I have found having the ability to just laugh it off and deal with it in a calm manner the most beneficial, there is always humour in everything. And believe me, I have missed public transport more times than I am proud to admit…
Just one minor example of things not going to plan, walking all the way down a hill in Rome, navigating around a muddy bog to realise it was a dead end and having to hike back up the hill
8. Always look out for #1
Yes, I said in point 2 that you are never really alone, but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be careful. Having travel buddies you met that day is nice, but you can’t necessarily count on them like you would your best friend. I have been left deserted at 4am when I lost my ‘new friends’ and had to walk 3km home on my own. Having people to hang out with can be great, but don’t depend on them. Be smart about how much you drink, where you go and who you share your time with, nobody cares about you as much as you do, so always put yourself first.
9. Just spend the money!
If there is one thing I have learnt in the last year, it is that money doesn’t buy happiness. I was talking to a guy the other day who told me he was saving, when I asked him ‘what for?’ he had no answer. The truth was ‘saving’ was his excuse for not pushing his comfort zone, it is so easy to get caught up in the little safety bubble surrounded by dollar bills of ‘just in case’. SPEND THE MONEY! Go on the trip, see the world, drink the wine, do what your heart truly desires. Be smart about it, you still need to be able to pay your bills, and don’t spend money you don’t have, but my point here is: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
10. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself
Your journey is about YOU. Don’t do things because other people think you should (or shouldn’t), do exactly what makes you happy. If you don’t like climbing stairs then don’t go up the bell tower, if you hate drinking, don’t feel peer pressured into going partying with everyone else; It is your journey, not anyone else’s. I remember seeing some girls on a train once and feeling jealous of how much more ‘traveller’ they looked than me with their cool backpacks and hiking boots. I then realised; they are on their journey, and I am on mine and it is ok that those are 2 very different things.
So, don’t be afraid to go it solo, you CAN do it. There are many ways of travelling, some prefer budget, some prefer luxury. Your journey is exactly what you make it.
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